Why Are Kittens Shy When I Visit?
~Understanding Maine Coon Kittens Between 6 and 12 Weeks~
One thing we hear from time to time is, “The kitten seemed a little shy when we visited. Is that their normal personality?” Usually, the answer is no, not at all.
Between approximately 6 and 12 weeks of age, kittens are going through an enormous amount of physical, neurological, and social development. During this period, it is completely normal for a confident, affectionate kitten to be cautious when an unfamiliar person enters their environment.
~Think About It from the Kitten’s Perspective~
Our kittens know us. They know our voices, our smells, our routines, their littermates, their mothers, and the environment where they have been raised. Then someone completely new walks in. That person smells different, sounds different, moves differently, and naturally wants to look at, touch, hold, and interact with the kitten.
Some kittens immediately think, “New person! Let’s go!”
Others think, “Who are you, and why are you trying to pick me up?”
Neither reaction tells us that one kitten has a better temperament than the other.
~Why 6–12 Weeks Can Be an Especially Sensitive Age~
Young kittens don’t develop in a perfectly straight line. They can go through periods when they are more adventurous and others when they are more cautious about unfamiliar sights, sounds, people, and environments. This is also an age when their world is getting much bigger.
They’re becoming more independent from Mom, playing harder with their littermates, learning boundaries, developing individual personalities, experiencing new things, and preparing for life outside the home where they were born.
A kitten who is wrestling with its siblings and climbing all over us five minutes before a visitor arrives may suddenly sit back and observe when strangers enter the room.
That is not necessarily a poorly socialized kitten. It is a baby assessing something unfamiliar.
~A Short Visit Is Only a Snapshot~
This is probably the most important thing to understand.
You may spend 30 minutes or an hour meeting a kitten that we have spent weeks raising and observing every single day.
We see who climbs into our laps.
We know who follows us around.
We know who wants to be carried.
We know who is independent, who is mischievous, who is confident, who is gentle, and who turns into a complete ragdoll when they’re comfortable. A kitten cannot always show you its entire personality during one visit. That is one reason we encourage families to consider our experience with the kitten rather than judging temperament solely by how the kitten behaves during those first few minutes together.
~Then They Go Home and You Meet a Different Kitten~
This is the part that surprises many families.
Once a kitten goes home and begins learning your voice, your smell, your routine, and your home, you become their familiar person. The kitten who wasn’t sure about being held by you during your first meeting may eventually be the cat sleeping against your chest every night. The kitten who sat back and watched during your visit may be following you into the bathroom a few weeks later. The kitten who seemed quiet may turn out to be the household comedian.
We hear versions of this from our families all the time: “This is not the same kitten we met!”
It is the same kitten.
You’re simply seeing that kitten comfortable, secure, and bonded to you.
~Socialization Doesn’t Mean a Kitten Will Love Every Stranger~
There is also an important misconception about socialization. A well-socialized kitten does not necessarily run enthusiastically toward every unfamiliar person who walks through the door.
Socialization gives kittens positive experiences with people, handling, household activity, sounds, other animals, grooming, and normal life. It helps build the foundation for a confident adult cat.
But kittens are still individuals.
Some are naturally outgoing with everyone. Some are extremely affectionate with their family but more reserved around strangers. Some want to investigate first and interact second.
Those are personality differences and they’re part of what makes each kitten unique.
~Trust the Personality That Develops Over Time~
When we describe one of our kittens as affectionate, confident, playful, laid-back, independent, or particularly people-oriented, we’re basing that description on repeated interactions, not one moment. We’ve watched that kitten wake up, play, eat, explore, interact with its littermates, respond to handling, encounter new situations, and seek human attention day after day. So, if you meet your future kitten and they’re a little hesitant with you, don’t immediately assume you’ve chosen the wrong kitten.
Give them a moment, more importantly, give them time.
You aren’t their person yet.
But once they go home with you, learn that they’re safe, and begin building that relationship, you may be amazed by just how different that little kitten becomes.
The kitten you meet for an hour isn’t necessarily the cat you’ll know for a lifetime.
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